"Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?"
This week has been pretty eventful. There are lots ups and downs. I don't know whether I should be talking abt the ups or downs first?
Let me see. My granduncle died unexpectedly on Monday. That is when I had this sudden impact on me. First was, it was really really unexpected. For someone who was active regardless of physically or mentally, little did me or my family knew this was coming. Then I realised that anything can happen in this life. And it of course made me appreciate the people around me better.
Secondly, I felt bad. I took the chances of meeting him alive, for granted. I couldn't even remember when was the last time I saw him. Which was worst.
I think its just the nature of most humans nowadays, to take things for granted, not appreciating the people around them and when you lost it so suddenly, it hurts real bad, does it?
What happened yesterday was totally unplanned. And what sucks the most is, I lost 2 people from my life in one week. I've had enough, I'm sick of people leaving.
I do accept facts and fates. I can get over this, easily. But its not always that easy. Whats more, I've always have difficulties dealing with Changes. This is a drastic change. I'm still wondering how am I gonna get over it. The date on the 17th has always been something special for me for-almost-2 years now. Now its just a date, just a fucking date.
The worst Valentine's I've ever had so far. Who cries on Vday, man? But it made me realised who am I to you and how long I've been bottling up to myself all this while. I've been an expert pretender. And now, I am still pretending I am alright when I'm not. When I'm not over it but I said I am. When I said I didn't care about you anymore but I kept asking to myself or others, how you were doing. I am glad that I've spent alot of time with my closest ones today, because they made me forget about almost everything. But at times like this, when I'm alone and when everybody's in bed. I felt emotionally weak. I can't stop thinking.
Images of you and me are almost everywhere. In my phone, facebook, friendster, my photo albums, even in my room. Can't deny that it didn't hit me real bad.
Its feels like I breathe you all the time.
This week has been pretty eventful. There are lots ups and downs. I don't know whether I should be talking abt the ups or downs first?Let me see. My granduncle died unexpectedly on Monday. That is when I had this sudden impact on me. First was, it was really really unexpected. For someone who was active regardless of physically or mentally, little did me or my family knew this was coming. Then I realised that anything can happen in this life. And it of course made me appreciate the people around me better.
Secondly, I felt bad. I took the chances of meeting him alive, for granted. I couldn't even remember when was the last time I saw him. Which was worst.
I think its just the nature of most humans nowadays, to take things for granted, not appreciating the people around them and when you lost it so suddenly, it hurts real bad, does it?
What happened yesterday was totally unplanned. And what sucks the most is, I lost 2 people from my life in one week. I've had enough, I'm sick of people leaving.
I do accept facts and fates. I can get over this, easily. But its not always that easy. Whats more, I've always have difficulties dealing with Changes. This is a drastic change. I'm still wondering how am I gonna get over it. The date on the 17th has always been something special for me for-almost-2 years now. Now its just a date, just a fucking date.
The worst Valentine's I've ever had so far. Who cries on Vday, man? But it made me realised who am I to you and how long I've been bottling up to myself all this while. I've been an expert pretender. And now, I am still pretending I am alright when I'm not. When I'm not over it but I said I am. When I said I didn't care about you anymore but I kept asking to myself or others, how you were doing. I am glad that I've spent alot of time with my closest ones today, because they made me forget about almost everything. But at times like this, when I'm alone and when everybody's in bed. I felt emotionally weak. I can't stop thinking.
Images of you and me are almost everywhere. In my phone, facebook, friendster, my photo albums, even in my room. Can't deny that it didn't hit me real bad.
Its feels like I breathe you all the time.
No comments:
Post a Comment