Six Feet Under

Just when I thought my late Grandpa was perfectly fine, since he was in a stable condition, things can go wrong at a split second.

Three weeks after Granduncle left the world, my own Grandfather had to join him too. It took just one day for a lot of things to happen. Its just getting harder each day, for me or the family to be stronger. But for all I know and I hope, He (Grandfather) will rest peacefully and there's always a reason for God to take him away. He's already suffered too much this 4 years, and his misery finally ended at 1215 am today.

Sometimes things are unexpected to happen. When I visited him at the hospital, the night before, I thought he was sleeping peacefully. But it didn't took that long for his soul to be taken away. After having dinner at home, Mum got an emergency call and both of us cabbed to Changi straightaway. The fear of losing him, as Me and my Mum waited impatiently for the Ward door to open. I can't deny that I hated the nurses there. It took them like 5 minutes to open the door? Mum got a call from one of my Uncles saying that he was gone. Time, how precious it can be.

Final Regrets. I guess my 2 Uncles were lucky enough to get to see Grandpa before he died on his deathbed. There were others like my Grandmum and Aunt who really wanted to see him before he moved on. But I couldn't understand their reactions sometimes. Why do there have to put the blame on others instead? Why can't they understand that going off doesn't depend how much time there is? Why only now regreted not visiting him on that faithful night?

I am exhausted. My eyes are tired from all the weeping and sleepless nights. I have my own set of regrets too, I shouldn't have gone to work 2 days before. I got to know Cousin told me Grandpa wanted to see everybody and cried looking at every each of us, I guess its just not my luck. It seems that he knows his time has come. Me and Cousin took sometime to reminisce those days when we were still small and were under his care. How much we missed him.

Couldn't sleep well after that. I slept at 6 am and woke up one hour later. When the time came to say our last goodbye is when I will remember forever. My warm lips kissed his cold forehead. My tears fell on the white cloth and he was covered on. But I was glad. Glad that he looked peaceful.

It felt weird and awkward now. Back from the cemetery, I couldn't see him lying on his bed just like he used to. Even the Little Sofie who doesn't understand what was gonig on, feels the same way. She stand outside the room and points to his bed, asked me, "Embok, where Embok? Embok not there!" Again, tears couldn't stop rolling.

Rest in Peace, Grandfather. I will never stop praying for you, praying you will be put in the safest and beautiful place called Heaven. I love and miss you.

Hj Ali Bin Md. Ali
(30th March 1936 to 3rd March 2009)