To ath, Zi, Shah to the hit, Diana - I'm feeling much better now. Thanks for the comforting words <3
To estella - Its not too late :) It always seemed recent to me.
To Shecar -Its okay lah, I know you're joking around. But i really thought it was my grandfather. In a good way, of course. Hehe.
There were certain things that came up on my mind today. How I realised how unhealthy my life has become. Physically, mentally, (even) financially, everything.I've been staying up real late till 5 am at least everyday, having irregular and really unhealthy meals, do not really care if I did had enough sleep and rest, consumed smoke more than food, tend to overwork myself, not even thinking on how to resolve my damaged hair, or the worst pimple breakout in my entire life. Even my parents, aunties, uncles, cousins, and grandmother (!) care all about it more than me.
Sometimes I don't know why the f am I still caring about others more than myself. When he or they don't deserve my concern at all. What the f am i fucking doing all this while? Anyways, I feel free and happy now. Like really. I've been telling Dhai what I've been wanting to do but had no guts till today. Hah! Okay, goodbye O, for good!
I know I'm currently having mixed feelings here which is too confusing to understand. Haha, but bottom line is, I just realised today I should make myself important first. And I mean it this time. Not make some guy important. Maybe not now. I just need to discipline me first. Which clearly means taking care of myself. Rebuild and Readjust.
Ps, I know alot has been asking on how I've been doing. But yeah, life moves on. Though I've been wishing every night I would get to talk to Grandpa in my dreams. Well, if thats the only possible way. This sounds absurd, I know -.- I miss him. I'm coping with life pretty well, I guess. I've always thought I need to be strong in these situations. When shit happens, I am learning how to handle things smoothly. And breaking down, is just not my thing now, really. Its just gonna make it worst. Making myself busy is good enough to keep things away for a little while. And I actually really don't know how am I handling the whole break up thing. Its just too perplexed like how it is now. Time will tell.
Need to hit the sack now. Take care people!
A happy post soon, I hope.
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