But you're just a boy

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone its broken
So they think that I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waiting for me to come home
It’s a little too late for you to come back

Say its just a mistake
Think I forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But you're just a boy
You don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you’ll wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy
You don't understand

Every now and then currently, I'd been thinking of the past. Sometimes I'd wish I could slap myself to snap back into reality. Maybe it’s time to tell myself to stop running away from these things cos it will still continue to linger in my mind once in a while. No matter what.

The heart to heart talk with girlfriends, and the ex-boy who keeps chatting with me about the past, got me thinking (I'm hoping he doesn't read this. well, if you do, just keep quiet lah hor?).

Honestly, sometimes I hate to be in love. But it sucks because, well everyone loved to be loved, right? I know coming from someone who is in relationship, a bit contradicting, I must agree.

Everyone share their own heartbreaks, and I realised I've not had a heart-to-heart talk with someone for the longest time. I've been sucking it all up and I believe only my family could see. It’s good and bad at the same time. I don't understand what I'm doing or maybe, I got used to it?

A close girlfriend of mine used to mention that I am so lucky that I've a good love life. But my heart will always say otherwise. Getting hurt by someone you love hurts more than anything. I live and I learn. I learn to be patient, I learn how to forgive and forget, I learn how to be a good pretender.

It is so difficult to tell them boys what we feel inside. What we've sacrificed, What we've been patient of. Because they're just boys, it’s just them. When they lie through their teeth, when they keep secrets, when they left without a word. They don’t know how it hurts. Even if I were to forgive, hatred is still there. Maybe the best solution is to be like them.

Sorry for bursting your bubble, but its history.

Ps; This should be a private post but I’m just giving a piece of my mind.

I'm Still Breathing

Yesterday night was fabbbbb.
New friends found :)
And I want more of this outings, please!
(to be continued, hehe)

I'm going m.i.a again since weekends are packed.
There's work this week!!! Oh man, I miss the ETP peeps terribly much! (well, some of them)
Yey :D

While I'm gone, you guys can watch this video. Hell funny siaaa!
I can't stop laughing while watching with Dan & Keith just now.
And, please I'm not being racist. I love racial harmony, for goodness sake :)
Peace! :D

RoadTrip

"I've been living with a shadow overhead.
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed"

Oh my, I didn't realised today is Wednesday. Ain't kidding here. I've been in my own dreamland nowadays, probably that is one of the reason why I find the days passed by so quick. Have been feeling rather lethargic even before the trip to Batu Pahat, and it drags till now. Love has been monitoring my sleeping time nowadays. Though sometimes I feel so pressured cos most of the time he was lecturing me to do my work early/sleep early rather than chatting with me, but I know its for my own good anyway. He is right, I could barely open my eyes today, and I can barely think during the test, I was too tired :\

Last Saturday, obviously you'd know by now I went to Batu Pahat. For some personal family things, I must say. I had plans for that day. Plans which was already PLANNED beforehand, and I had to cancel them. Why? Because of my Mum who forced me to come. Grrrrr. I can't believe I am still not over the fact that she didn't tell me we were staying there, didn't inform me I was supposed to follow, didn't inform me again we were going to stay in a Kampung, told me we were going Johor but not Batu Pahat (!!!) and didn't explained me why I must go! Well thanks, Mum. Its not as if I had telepathy with you, and I could read your mind. Even if I could, at least respect my decision that I did not want to come. It frustrates me more when you say "Have you packed your bag? Bring your towel, clothes etc". You know when you feel confused, irritated and she just boils your blood. Not being petty. I dislike things don't go the way I planned it to be. Okay, maybe a bit?

Anyway, lets cut it short. The long road trips, the jams and the Sun were the usual issues. Grandma, Uncle Khalid, Aunt Siti, Cousin Sofie and her grands were the ones with us (me, dad and mum). The trip was okay, i guess. Nothing interesting to say though. I was bored most of the time, but lucky me there was Sofie. She's a really good entertainer with her funny antics, for a two-year-old. We were like BFFs for awhile. Haha.

Sofie's grands's kampung house were not the kind of kampung house I'd imagine. Haha. It was just a cute little concrete house with two bedrooms, a small garden where there's hens, roosters and cats around, a swing, hammock, and there were alot of trees growing fruits. Durians, bananas, mangosteens etc. Its more like a chalet for their family. And oh, the house was surrounded with lots of Banana trees. Alot of bananas means alot of monkeys -.- Anyway, the monkeys weren't as that irritating as the flies and mosquitoes around. They seem to like me very much, but thank god I brought spray to keep them away :) I know I've been talking about animals all along, but there are seriously different kinds of animals there. And extra big in size! There was this big spider that looks like a Tarantula, which almost made its way into my bag. I am super glad that I realised it sooner or later, or I'd bring home a souvenir.

I hate the fact they, Malaysians are so not concern about hygiene, cleanliness and how certain things are not sanitize properly. Okay, am being petty again. If you'd put me in a forest, or maybe in the Reality show like Survivor, I'd die there, literally. But, guess what, I managed to survive living in a Kampung environment and I'm totally proud of it! Haha! If Sofie can do it, then I can too :D

No photos taken with my camera. I brought my camera but I didn't bring batteries -.-" You know how far is it to find a Convenience store around? Urgh. But then again, Uncle brought his Dslr along and Aunt promised me to send the photos. I don't think I'm getting them anytime now since they're pretty busy people.

I'll just post photos from last Wednesday. Yes, I am THAT outdated. Lol.

/DIV>

Last but not least. I know too much "November Babies". And this is a special birthday shout out to

• My dear brother, Irwan
• Uncle Jali
• Aunt Linda
• Mummy Leha
• Aunt Ju
• Cousin Danisyah
• Faezah
• Putri

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, November Babies! :D
(I am really hoping I never missed out on anybody)

Cold Desert

Will be back on blogging mode soon when I've recovered or feeling better. Just return from Malaysia yesterday, thus the short m.i.a. Now, i'm having cramps, diarrhea, migraines, and I'm feeling ever so cold that I'm getting my 2nd hot chocolate soon. The warm bath doesn't seem to help and the Little Miss PMS is driving me nuts. Right now, I am finding the time to blog and to do a research on the differences on realism and anti-realism and I'm definitely not ready for debate later. My life has been going as fast as I could remember and for god's sake my brain is too slow to function much less catching up. I need my beauty sleep, please.

Gtg babies.
Much love,
Natty.

Doubts, Doubts, Doubts

STA's "briefing" was on Monday, and they inform us some really GOOD news. Our freshman batch this year in STA do not have to waste their time doing PP (Professional Profiling), but instead we have to take Portfolio Development module, cos its compulsory. So, yours truly found out that she do not need to choose her modules for next year. It was already pre-picked for me?

• Creative Concepts
• Digital Media Arts
• History Of The Arts
• Arts Critisim and Analysis

Am totally fine with it. But there is a problem though.

I have exactly 6 more days to decide whether I'd want to take an elective module. Meaning that since I currently have 5 Core Modules, I can take an elective module. It is optional though. But I am really keen! (on Photography & Digital Imaging) And I can't seem to decide! In need of some opinions over here. Hehe, the poll is in my nuffnang ads yo! Feel free, even if you're a total stranger to me. I don't mind :)

Because Home Is Always Where The Heart Is

Cibai lah Cibaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
So sorry if I'm abit vulgar today, but seriously I am super pissed.
I don't wana live there lah. Knn.
Whatever it takes, even if it means I'm not going to come home the day before we're leaving.

Crimewave

My weekends without work wasn't wasted of course, in fact it was just perfect :) Saturday was spent out shopping with Mum since I haven't done that for ages. And Sunday, was the class outing of 3E5 '06 & 4E5'07 to Sentosa. I know alot of them wasn't psyched about it cos almost half couldn't come. But we went along with the plan anyway because some didn't like last minute cancellations.

Meeting time was at 1130 am. I knew the malay guys was going to be late, so I took my time getting ready. Met them at around 12 plus but still Aidil and Sham have not arrived yet! See, I knew it! Lol. Janji Melayu lah katekan.

Let the photos do the talking!

Fairus brought his class tee along -.-
Love and me didn't plan to swim at first. But when I saw them swim, it was quite tempting. Plus, i brought extra clothes along. So go ahead with it.
I am fan of swimming but I love swimming at swimming pools not the sea water cos I think its dirty. Believe it or not, that day was only my 2nd time dipping myself in sea water. When I swam for about 5 minutes, I realised my bottom part of the leg became red and it was damn itchy at first. But I've stopped scratching it, afraid people think I might be crazy -.- Its still itching now anyway. Still wondering if my skin is allergic to the sea water....
I know I said at my Twitter that I wanted to go on diet.
But, last week was actually the highest intake of junk food I've ever had. Cakes, Lasagna, Chocolates, Ice Chocolate-s, Fried Chicken, Fizzy Drinks, Pizza and more Pizza! You name it, I eat it all.
Thus, the bulging tummy. I am to lazy to edit it. Hahaha.
They decided to bury Aidil deep in the sand. It was hell funny cos they keep making weird shapes like making a long dick and pointed breasts for him. Hahaha






It looks like those newly buried Muslim cemetery, then they start doing those prayers as though his dead. Lol.

After they're done burying him till it was difficult for him to get out, we went back swimming and left him alone with the long dick and the pointed breasts. Hahaha. But he got out by himself in the end anyway.
The chinese kids left half-way -.- Cos of jobs and other plans, i think.
After bathing, I went around the area for awhile, while waiting for the guys to bath.













We were really famished by them as some of us didn't had any breakfast. Headed to Vivo for dinner and slack at the rooftop till night.






































Pretty Lights.

Fawwaz did this funny Tektonic Dance the whole day, regardless of where he go.
Then, I asked them to dance for me in the video. Watch! Haha

Thats all :)

More photos at Facebook.
Will give the link later alright.