If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone its broken
So they think that I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waiting for me to come home
It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong
But you're just a boy
You don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you’ll wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy
You don't understand
Every now and then currently, I'd been thinking of the past. Sometimes I'd wish I could slap myself to snap back into reality. Maybe it’s time to tell myself to stop running away from these things cos it will still continue to linger in my mind once in a while. No matter what.
The heart to heart talk with girlfriends, and the ex-boy who keeps chatting with me about the past, got me thinking (I'm hoping he doesn't read this. well, if you do, just keep quiet lah hor?).
Honestly, sometimes I hate to be in love. But it sucks because, well everyone loved to be loved, right? I know coming from someone who is in relationship, a bit contradicting, I must agree.
Everyone share their own heartbreaks, and I realised I've not had a heart-to-heart talk with someone for the longest time. I've been sucking it all up and I believe only my family could see. It’s good and bad at the same time. I don't understand what I'm doing or maybe, I got used to it?
A close girlfriend of mine used to mention that I am so lucky that I've a good love life. But my heart will always say otherwise. Getting hurt by someone you love hurts more than anything. I live and I learn. I learn to be patient, I learn how to forgive and forget, I learn how to be a good pretender.
It is so difficult to tell them boys what we feel inside. What we've sacrificed, What we've been patient of. Because they're just boys, it’s just them. When they lie through their teeth, when they keep secrets, when they left without a word. They don’t know how it hurts. Even if I were to forgive, hatred is still there. Maybe the best solution is to be like them.
Sorry for bursting your bubble, but its history.
Ps; This should be a private post but I’m just giving a piece of my mind.
